As of today, I choose to always shine brightly, like the star-lit sky that I am. This is a celebratory moment, as I have been living in a state of forgetfulness for so long. I’ve been desperately inquiring: why did I choose to come here? And yes, I firmly believe, through my own inner Soul investigations, that I have chosen to come here, to Earth. I am sure of it. So imagine my horror when life has become a pointless charade, and I feel more like a puppet than a master of my own destiny. I’ve always known that there is far more to life than consuming and becoming attached, suffering and experiencing ephemeral pleasures. So I’ve embarked on a spiritual and yogic journey to find deep health and to uncover the truth of my purpose. What I’ve confirmed, after trudging through countless personal storms and removing many blockages, is that there is indeed Something Bigger than me, and it is this Something Bigger which gives me a reason to live.
It was not long ago that I had reached a breaking point. For hopefully the last, though certainly not the first time in my life, I was contemplating suicide. The reason? I felt like I was not fulfilling my purpose. I felt like my time was slipping away from me, that it was being wasted in unsatisfying tasks and tidal waves of confusion. My body was reacting strongly to psychiatric withdrawal symptoms. My brain was on fire; my mind an inferno. I had finally had enough. This is not what my Soul had intended when I shot through some cosmic portal into my mother’s womb. No, this is hell, shrinking myself down for others’ comfort. This is hell, hiding away from my dreams in constant fear of loss and abandonment.
Fortunately, my Soul is strong. So, so strong. Again, and again, I’ve chosen to stay here on Earth, despite this intense urge to leave it behind. I can thank my spiritual insights for this, for in the liminal space after death I certainly don’t think my Soul would be very happy with itself if I were to quit this time around. I’ve traveled throughout the Universe, gathering experiences and wisdom along the way, perhaps all for this very moment. So when it all feels pointless, I know I’ve gotten off track. I’ve had a sense of purpose possessing me since childhood. I could never shake the feeling that I had a job to do, that I was the only one who could do it, and that it had to be done with integrity. As a practicing astrologer, I can now see that I’ve imprinted my life with the exact archetypes, obstacles and opportunities to keep me pushing forward when the going gets tough. I obviously co-created this life so that I may fulfill my Soul’s purpose: to Serve.
Service. It’s the Aquarian way. I am a Sun-sign Aquarian, and it is the Aquarian age, is it not? Aquarius, the water bearer, was given a choice by Zeus: she could keep all the water of the Universe to herself, making herself an immortal Goddess. Or, she could distribute it among all beings, sacrificing her immortality for morality, living and dying with the rest of them. Of course, she chose the latter, and her symbol crystallized in the starry sky represents justice, fairness, and true empowerment. For Aquarius must have understood an even deeper truth than Godhood could offer. She knew, and she remains the wisdom-keeper of the fact, that we are all Gods, regardless of whether our bodies live or die. We are all Gods, radiating infinitely powerful light from the core of our beings. This is perhaps the most profound realization a human could have, and of course, there are many limiting beliefs (think, heresy) that may keep people from accepting it. But it’s true, and it does not defile religion or spirituality in any way. We can remain devotional to the enlightened masters and Divine Oneness while still recognizing the Godliness within ourselves. I’ve found that this actually enhances my ability to connect with Source, and to more authentically honor those gurus and saints who have come before me. I am not a sycophant nor am I a parrot. I am a devotee to the perfection in myself and others, to the service I have come here to complete.
This devotional lifestyle is more than an intellectual mindset. It is a deeply grounded experience of inner trust and power. Through the efforts of my sadhana, I physically feel life force flowing through me. I see the lotus flower of my enlightened self opening up before my very third eye. This is real, far more real than the lies I’ve been told as a child in school and that I continue to see in the media. This personal experience is God, and it commands that I have a sacred job to do. Not only that, but this divine essence gives me the exact life experiences, skills and power I need to complete this job. How could I not collapse into tearful prostrations, bowing down before the omnipotent beauty I’m discovering within myself? This connection to Spirit that I’ve cultivated through hard work, perseverance and faith has given me a reason to live.
I realize now that I had been so despondent because I had lost sight of this reality: that I am powerful, that I am Goddess embodied, that my coming here was no accident, and certainly no punishment. It was a conscious choice of my willpower to serve humanity. And I am not the only one with this intention! There are people all over the planet who have come here for the same reason—I wonder if it’s actually the majority of us who have?
It is clear that as a race we have forgotten who we are. But there is hope—just look around! Here and there, everywhere a clue, a nudge, a resounding orchestra of help from the Universe, often channeled through our fellow humans. Yoga has invaded the West; finally a national invasion I can get behind! Techniques for true, cosmically aligned health are out there, right here. All it takes is the desire to learn, the desire to remember our true, divine nature. Suddenly, a synchronicity occurs, a subtle whisper draws us closer to our goal of Pure Knowing, and the journey to recognizing our wholeness begins. At first, it’s self-centered, in a way; the need to be physically and mentally healthy, to manifest desires, to live happily. But for me at least, this was not enough. In fact, I was reaching plateaus in my health and spiritual growth by maintaining this limited mindset. I still wasn’t attaining deep focus or peace of mind. I was still making self-destructive decisions. What was I missing?
In my quest for personal fulfillment, I forgot that this journey is not about me. It’s not about me at all. The whole purpose of my time here is to serve, to help, to guide. And I have always had this dream to be a teacher or guide in some way, but it was rooted in ego-grasping desires. The truth of what is actually necessary to lead a fulfilling life is more nuanced. I have not come here to shine my light just to feel proud of myself or accomplish personal goals. I have come to shine so that others can see they are powerful enough to do the same.
We both benefit, you see, from my shining bright. In turn, I feel fulfilled, and happy to share my gifts; others, seeing how joyful and free I have become through my own journey of transformation, are then invited to join on this sacred path. For I am not special. I am not a Chosen One. I am just like you, just like all of you, a beautiful Soul encased in a traumatized human body. Connecting to Source for strength, I have found my way home without needing to leave this physical plane. The spiritual path is one of true balance, of being here on this planet fully while walking in connection with cosmic bliss.
I grieve the time I’ve “lost” feeling unworthy or useless, all because societal programming and ancestral wounds caused me to erect walls between myself and my Self. It is deeply disheartening to see my mother, my sister, my family, my human family suffering so much from this same affliction: not recognizing one’s own power. It’s been purposeful, I assure you, the way our schools and laws have been structured, to keep people ignorant of their divine nature. Modern Christianity has stolen people’s God-given right to personal religion, to deep connection with Spirit, all to serve a minority of evil, selfish people. But I say fuck that, it’s the Aquarian age—it’s time to unleash our personal power.
As a whole, our consciousness is expanding. People all over the world are experiencing heightened perceptions which are now being scientifically researched and documented. Healing with light and intention is a real and proven skill that has saved countless lives. Manifestation and magic produce incredible results, try and you’ll see. This world is miraculous—no less miraculous than any other place in the Universe, no less miraculous than Heaven. We live in a creation of God, we are creations of God! We are Gods in our own right, single rays of the infinite sunshine that is our blessed Creator. So let us shine.
Let us shine so brightly, single stars, making a constellation of beauty that radiates to past and future generations. Human evolution is on the upswing, thank God! If you are here now, if you are hearing these words, then you most definitely are needed here. You are an important part of our collective transformation. So I invite you to look inside yourself, and ask with pure curiosity: who am I? Your answer may start off limited by worldly concerns, but keep asking yourself that question. Who Am I? The truth will be revealed to you: that all you have ever done to harm yourself or others has simply been done out of ignorance. That you are actually Love itself, and your intention deep down is to love and to serve. The more you deepen this inner knowing, the more clear the answer becomes—that you are one with God, one with the Universe, connected to all the information latent in the sacred geometry of space.
So please, for the sake of human evolution and world peace, remember your power. Please shine your unique and beautiful light. We need you. We love you. Thank you.
Thank you for your service.
Ethereal Ecology 