(Before you read this, please acknowledge this Trigger Warning: Animal Death.)
I was driving through the country roads of my rural town, headed to a friends’ land to pick up willow for a creative project. I had just finished a powerful healing with a client, and was feeling energized, and at peace.Ahead of me in the road was a beautiful painted turtle, hurrying along the pavement. I slowed down as it made its passage, but it stopped in the middle of the road. I stopped too, with the intention of getting out, picking them up and saving them from the dangers of the street.
What happened next was unexpected. I had no time to get out of my car, because another one was barreling down the road. I put my arm out of my car window in an attempt to get their attention about the turtle, but they apparently did not interpret my signal. Against all of my heart and intention, right in front of my eyes, this car smashes the poor turtle: instant death.
“No!” I yell. “Nooo!” I am angry, enraged at this injustice. I was going to save it. I was just about to save it! Now its precious life is gone forever. I understand how people could have missed it, but I am also mad that they did not slow down. What is so important that we must kill something to rush there? The turtle’s beautiful, majestic form is now a pile of carnage, painting the road with blood and guts.
Grief fills my heart at this loss I intimately encountered. I did not know this turtle personally, but I immediately felt love and admiration for it; enough to move it out of danger’s way. But I was not fast enough; could I have done anything different? Guilt briefly sets in; but, no, there really was not much I could do.
The emotions coursing through me in this moment were completely valid and appropriate. Anger, rage, grief, guilt, confusion, sadness, remorse. I could feel certain emotions wanting to hide within me, unfelt; questions about why cruelty exists, why death can sometimes be so ruthless.
How can a loving Universe commit such injustices on such peaceful and beautiful Life?
Moments like this sure do beg the question.
As do other moments in our lives. None of us get through life without witnessing or experiencing something tragic or traumatic, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or all of the above. These events cause us to feel appropriate emotions, as this example demonstrates.
Over time, if we haven’t properly processed those emotions, they build up inside of us, hiding deep within, creating layers upon layers of dis-ease that can manifest as chronic emotional challenges, such as depression, anxiety, self-hatred, uncontrollable anger, or suicidal urge. This is especially true if those traumas happened to us as children, before we had the resources and tools to process the intensely painful and confusing feelings that arise.
The beauty of this experience was in my ability to allow my emotions to flow freely, without stopping them, which helped me to move through this event gracefully, without unnecessarily holding onto my challenging feelings. They had their time to be felt, so I could learn something about what I value and how I desire to live; then it was my task to let that go, and accept what happened.
Of course, this isn’t all about me; I also said prayers for the Turtle spirit, wishing it a peaceful passing and safe next life. I said many prayers for all of us, to have more awareness of Life and its fragileness; to treat each moment with more reverence, gentleness and carefulness.
Life is Sacred. Death is Sacred. Misuse of Power, Injustice, Tragedy, Abuse, Neglect are all reason enough to feel how we feel. We know that something is wrong when life is treated as anything less than the sacred gift it is. And we are all learning to have more awareness of this sacredness in every moment; which may not remove suffering entirely, but it will help us mine compassion, love, and heart-opening out of every situation.
If we can alchemize challenging moments into opportunities to open our hearts, learn how to live in deeper harmony with nature, and love more deeply, then we most certainly will create a much more loving, kind, and compassionate world.
Ethereal Ecology 