Chaos / Circumstance

I wish
I could write
More coherently
About my life
But for now
Simple words
Are more than good enough
To describe
The chaos that is
My circumstances

This time, the gift is
Surrender
Peace
Love from within
Despite everything
My heart can smile
Yes,
I can have faith
And fear
Simultaneously.

Feeling into
The moment
My energy body keeps
Floating away
Like a hot air balloon
I would rather be
Filled with water
Dropped on the concrete
Splash
Relaxed at last

Sweet relief is
Momentary
And precious
I felt it today
Now I’m back to
Manic thoughts, but
Moments,
Moments of peace
Are good enough for now.

They must be.
Life has its own agenda for my body,
Apparently.
I am swimming both with
And against the tide
Both ways
are right;
I am
in Alignment.

Dear God
Keep me
Strong and steady
Like a mother tree
Swift winds no longer
Shifting me like sand
Make me a permanent structure
On my very own
Land

So it is
Here I am
Being, witnessing,
Letting go —
Oh, the chaos
That is
My circumstances.