Sitting on a thick tree branch after an emotional hike, I unpack my journal and write a brief Note to Self…
I’m often left feeling exhausted — wrung out, depleted, past the point of thought — and confused, with a newfound clarity. The world tells you to just barrel through your problems without telling anyone, as if these conundrums, these circumstances are in some way detached from the core of your being. When in reality that tunnel which you attempt to passively evade is closing in on you from every direction; its walls grow appendages that snake their way around your wrists and ankles, until you are positively tied, engulfed, entrapped… What then? Will you continue to look, longingly and desperately, at the pinprick of light teasing menacingly at the end? No — you have no choice but to untangle yourself from the mess that you have made. And yes — YOU have made it.
Those invisible vines that bind you tightly to your fears and misconceptions have been growing in size and strength since the inception of your now insurmountable obstacle. These vines do not want to hurt you. In fact, they have no free will at all — they are simply slaves to the cycles you manifest and the constant fuel of pain you feed them. Pull and struggle in agony and despair and you only find yourself more deeply tangled, to the point of strangulation. Can you not feel the loss of circulation that has plagued you all this time?
No — you suppress it. You become accustomed to living constrained and helpless. You adopt the role of victim until that role is inseparable from your true self. It’s easier that way, right? Rather than admitting your mistakes and making the effort to alleviate them? How long will it take for you to wake up? To open your eyes from your living nightmare? There is, in fact, light at the end of the tunnel — dazzling, blinding, exhilarating light. And this light is as much a part of you as your painful chains. You do not need to simply gaze at its beauty in pitiful envy — you have the potential to attract it toward you, if only you notice its omnipresence.
Pay attention, and you can feel the light’s essence coursing through your veins as if you are attached to an IV of ethereal ecstasy. In this awareness the light inches closer from the outside in, until you permanently exist in a cosmic embrace of peace. In this peace you are whole. In this peace you are perfect — even in your human imperfections. When you embrace your light, that unique breath of life which grants you your special existence, you are then free to be your true self.
When you get lost in the trenches — when you feel the walls closing in, the vines creeping — do not fret; simply slow down, stop, take a moment to assess your surroundings. Where am I? How have I wandered so aimlessly into malicious and unknown territory? In this awareness you realize: the choice to continue is yours and yours alone. So why not choose to turn around? To retrace your steps, and discover the trailhead that has led to your demise? Sure enough, with that realization, you are liberated; that dark path simply disappears, vanishes into thin air. You have control again. You are the light. You are whole. Now the journey continues, with a fresh start. The question now is — where to next?
Ethereal Ecology 