“Remember! Don’t Forget!”

All the traumas and abuses you were forced to grow up with

And the hatred swelling in your heart at the mere thought of it

And especially the misfortune that you are a crime of God’s design

A sad and accidental incident

The choice to be on Earth was all HIS choice, not mine!

Or was it…

Bullshit.

I am sick of being destroyed from the inside out

And having my insides destroyed from the outside in.

I am dying from this ‘gift’ of human life.

What a shitty present…

God, if you really care, could you please anesthetize me

And just get this damn thing over with?

.      .      .      .      .

Okay, so maybe that’s a bit melodramatic

Of course I know it’s no use complaining

It only pushes those we love ———————–> a w a y

And invites more trauma and abuse

Repeating vicious cycles.

But complain I will, in hopes that it bring reprieve from this suffering

If but for a moment…

*

And just like that, the moment is gone.

* There * goes * another * one *

and another…

* * *

How can life be so fragile

On a planet four and a half billion years of age?

In a universe existent since beginningless time?

How can it be, that one wrong action or inaction; an immeasurable touch on the domino effect of reality

Or one misplaced word or selfish silence; an inaudible microtone in a chorus of eternity

Can begin the chain reaction; and blow the speakers?

C
o
l
l
a
p
s
i
n
g

 again, and again

all I have built.

D e s t r o y i n g

again, and again

the ability to hear

My Soul’s True Purpose.

Which is…….

?

The answer never comes.

So I stand paralyzed in the devil’s grasp

As his omnipresent claws inch closer

Until, finally, he decides to crush me —

Over,

and over,

and over again.

________________________________________________________________

I swear that I seek refuge from this island of suffering,

but instead my head is hidden under covers of denial,

and I never fail to hit the snooze button.

So the alarm never ceases to sound:

“Don’t forget to remember

What it is you have already forgotten

And will inevitably remember

To forget again…”